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You Know You're Lutheran When...


August 2002


8/30/02

...you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie "Fargo" then

8/28/02

...a capital fund drive is needed to finance the new one million cup coffee urn

8/26/02

...you feel guilty about not feeling guilty

8/23/02

...you're willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church

8/21/02

...sharing the peace during the service takes more time than the sermon

8/19/02

...you have more than three friends whose first names have the letter "j" as the second letter

8/16/02

...it's time to change a lightbulb and the left side of the aisle begins a debate on "change," while the right side of the aisle musters five volunteers--one to hold the bulb, and four to turn the ladder

8/14/02

...the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes

8/12/02

...it's 110 degrees outside and you still have coffee after services

8/9/02

...you sing "Stand Up, Stand Up, For Jesus" sitting down

8/5/02

...at the close of a memo it states "Peace be with you" and you automatically respond "and also with you"

8/2/02

...you think the 11th Commandment is: If it's never been done that way before, don't start now

7/31/02

...you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the other 140 members that are already sitting there

7/29/02

...your house is a mess because you're "saved by Grace", not good works


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Thrivent Financial for Lutherans

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625 Fourth Avenue S.
Minneapolis, MN 55414-1665 USA
800-THRIVENT
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Thrivent Financial for Lutherans, Appleton, WI 54919-0001, is authorized to conduct business in all 50 states and the District of Columbia. NAIC # 2938-56014. Products issued by Thrivent Financial for Lutherans are available to applicants who meet membership, insurability, U.S. citizenship and residency requirements. Not all products described are available in all states. Thrivent Financial representatives are licensed insurance agents. Insurance and retirement products, where available, are individual contracts, (not group coverage), and issued by Thrivent Financial for Lutherans. Investment products are offered through Thrivent Investment Management Inc., 625 Fourth Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN 55415-1665, a wholly owned subsidiary of Thrivent Financial for Lutherans. Member FINRA. Member SIPC. Thrivent Financial representatives are registered representatives of Thrivent Investment Management Inc.