February 2003

2/28/03	...You quit watching Lawrence Welk because there is too much sax and violins!    -Betty, Cohasset, Minnesota
2/27/03	...When someone you have never seen before comes up and knocks you to the ground, your first response is "What does this mean?"    -Brandt, Olympia, Washington
2/26/03	...It takes longer to leave church than to attend the service because everyone makes a single file line to shake the Pastor's hand and chat with him on the way out    -Erin, Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania
2/25/03	...At pot lucks all the men have table ware and napkins in their shirt pockets so the full plates are easier to carry    -Robert, Quemado, New Mexico
2/24/03	...You arrive in church and start having a panic attack because someone else is sitting in "your pew"    -Jesse, Antigo, Wisconsin
2/21/03	...you doodle on the back of communion cards
2/19/03	...you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they're not so messy then
2/17/03	...a line item in the trustee's budget is "coffee maker maintenance."
2/14/03	...you think that an ELCA Lutheran bride and an LCMS groom make for a "mixed marriage."
2/12/03	...you think lime Jell-O® with cottage cheese and pineapple is a gourmet salad
2/10/03	...requests you hear are preceded or followed by the phrase, "If it's not too much trouble then..."
2/7/03	...during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday
2/5/03	...you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic
2/3/03	...you think the four food groups are coffee, lefse, lutefisk, and Jell-O®

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