June 2004

6/28/04	...the congregation will pay twice as much for coffee as for Internet    -Christopher, Lakewood, Washington
6/28/04	...you're watching "Star Wars" in the theatre and when they say, "May the force be with you," the theatre replies, "and also with you."
6/22/04	...coffee and cookies in the church basement actually happens!    -Alan, Indianapolis, Indiana
6/22/04	...you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the 140 members already sitting there
6/17/04	...you change churches and every time a problem comes up you find yourself saying "Well, at my OLD church"...    -Nancy, Illinois
6/17/04	...a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one
6/14/04	...they say you're not hard of hearing, you're just hard of listening    -Janice, Dallas, Texas
6/14/04	...Ole and Lena are really the names of your relatives
6/11/04	...you fold that dollar bill at least 4 times before dropping it in the collection plate    -Ken, San Diego, California
6/11/04	...you count coffee among the sacraments
6/7/04	...you keep track in your mind who takes the individual cup and who takes the common cup at communion    -John, Watertown, Wisconsin
6/7/04	...you're at an evangelistic rally and you actually manage to raise your hands waist high
6/3/04	...your pastor studied 3 ancient Biblical languages at seminary...Hebrew, Greek and German    -Andrew, Harrisonburg, Virginia
6/3/04	...you notice the Kool Aid stock shoots up during the Vacation Bible School season
6/1/04	...baptisms are offered in two forms: holy water or Mrs. Olson's (Folgers)    -Julie, Vermillion, South Dakota
6/1/04	...Commandment #11—If its never been done that way before, don't do it

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