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| | [Certain] Pharisees came up to [Jesus] and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
- Matthew 19:3-6
Marriage is an estate instituted by God and is not to be entered into lightly. Preparation should include not just arrangements for the wedding ceremony, but even more so for the marriage itself.
Studies have indicated that pre-marriage counseling can lower the incidence of divorce by as much as 30%. Here at Saint Peter’s we ask that you arrange for such counseling with the pastor at least four to six months in advance of the wedding date. As part of this, he will offer you a pre-marriage inventory called Prepare (or Prepare MC or Prepare CC.) This will help couples to identify strengths upon which to build their marriage, as well as areas which may need further discussion. If, because of distance or military service, it is impractical to meet with Pastor Emrick for counseling, we will seek to make alternate arrangements. Because marriage is also an act with state entanglements, the pastor will need to be satisfied that there are not legal impediments to the marriage.
Please keep in mind that the marriage service is a worship service. Because it is, there will be reasonable guidelines governing the service itself. The service will be performed according to the Rite of Marriage found in the Lutheran Service Book on pages 275-277. The vows and promises in this service represent centuries of Christian wisdom and will normally be used as written. Music also may add to, or detract from, the Christian character of the service. The pastor will need to approve any special music that you may like to use. You may also wish to consult with Pastor Holtz or with another organist in regard to appropriate musical selections that will beautify your service and bring honor and glory to God. You may also want to consider including a hymn for congregational singing as part of your wedding; the hymnal includes a number of excellent selections.
The altar paraments will reflect the season of the Church Year in which the wedding takes place, and there will be limitations on photography and videography. Finally, we do not normally schedule weddings during the penitential seasons of Lent and Advent, although exceptions may be made under extraordinary circumstances. In no case will weddings be scheduled during Holy Week.
If you are considering asking other clergy to participate in a wedding service, please contact Pastor Emrick first so that all things may be done in good order. (1 Corinthians 14:40)
Finally, a note about living together before marriage:
If you are considering cohabitation, there are, of course, the moral and ethical problems in such an arrangement. It is no small thing to consider entering into a situation which, by its very nature, is opposed to God’s clear will for His people, as we read in the Book of Hebrews, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” (Hebrews 13:4)
In addition, cohabitation carries with it a host of emotional and practical problems. Contrary to popular wisdom, living together before marriage actually increases the probability of divorce and reduces marital satisfaction in couples who do marry after living together. There are a number of websites where this information may be found, but one of the best, and one from a wholly secular point of view, is that from Rutgers University’s Marriage Project, http://marriage.rutgers.edu/ Publications/SWLT2%20TEXT.htm.
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| “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.”
– 1 Thessalonians 4:13
Unlike Baptism, Holy Scripture does not give specific guidelines regarding funeral services. However, this is a long-standing tradition which has both religious and practical benefits.
Funerals at Saint Peter’s are normally reserved for those who are members of the congregation at the time of their death. There are exceptions (for example, a former member who moved away and wishes to have their service and burial at this church, or someone who comes to the Christian faith before death but was not in a position to formalize their relationship with the congregation.)
Funeral services are worship services. The rite used is that found on pages 278-281 in the Lutheran Service Book. The funeral service is the responsibility of the called pastor of the congregation. If there is a desire to have another pastor participate, please contact Pastor Emrick first, before extending an invitation. This will avoid possible embarrassment on the part of all parties.
Usually three hymns will be sung as part of the service. Any number of hymns are appropriate, but some suggestions include: “For All the Saints, Who From Their Labors Rest” (677), “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” (770), “Just As I Am, Without One Plea” (570), other hymns from the Church Triumphant section of the hymnal (670-680), the Redeemer section of the hymnal (523-554), from the Justification section (555-576), or the Easter Season (457-490.)
Eulogies are sincerely discouraged, both for practical reasons as well as religious ones. It would be better to save eulogies for the dinner after the service, where reminiscing about the departed would be more appropriate.
Secular organizations, including military honors, may take place at the graveside. Lodges, however, are not secular organizations, but often religious in nature, and usually offer religious opinions deeply contrary to Christian belief (salvation by good works, universalism.) Such religious observances will not take place as part of the Christian funeral service, nor as part of the graveside service.
When a death takes place, please contact the church office or the pastor directly. Pastor Emrick will want to take part in the family’s meeting with the funeral director whenever that is possible. This will give him an opportunity both to gather information needed to plan the funeral service, and to answer any questions the family members may have regarding what to expect.
Finally, Saint Peter’s has a beautiful funeral pall. The pall represents the words of Saint Paul that in baptism the departed was clothed with Christ and His righteousness. (Galatians 3:27) Unless strong objections are raised, the pall will normally be used as part of the funeral service.
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| Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
- Matthew 28:18-20 (ESV)
Baptism is essential to the life of the Christian. Christ not only commands His Church to make disciples by baptism and teaching, He also declares that “He who believes and is baptized shall be saved.” (Mark 16:16) It is that important.
It is noteworthy that the Great Commission was given to the Church. Individuals are baptized, but baptism is not a solitary act that is only between the baptized and God. Indeed, when we are baptized we become members of the Body of Christ, which is the Church. As Saint Paul writes, “For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body”. (1 Corinthians 12:12-13a) Because baptism is an act of the church, it is only fitting that baptisms should take place whenever possible during a regular worship service so that the whole congregation has an opportunity to participate. It is also appropriate the all regular baptisms should be performed by the called pastor of the congregation. If you would like another pastor to participate in any official act of the church, you need to contact Pastor Emrick first, before extending an invitation.
You might find some details about the Rite of Baptism helpful in your planning. For example, you may have friends or relatives whom you want to serve as Godparents. You may have Godparents whether the person being baptized is an infant or an adult; age does not matter. In the Lutheran Church we recognize two different types of Godparents: Sponsors are those who are Lutheran and who can and will promise to help the baptized grow in the faith and remain true to it in the coming years. Witnesses are Godparents who are Christian, but who are not Lutheran. They can bear witness to the fact that this person has indeed been baptized according to Christ’s command.
The Rite of Baptism is found in the hymnal, on pages 268-271. At the baptism the newly baptized will receive a candle that some people use to observe their baptismal birthday in the following years. You will also receive a special napkin that has been provided as a gift by the Ladies’ Aide Society of the church. Thrivent also provides a special token as a reminder of this important day.
If an emergency baptism takes place, for example in the hospital, there is a rite for recognizing that baptism in the presence of the congregation. The essential elements of baptism are the use of water and the Word (“I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”)
If you have any questions regarding a baptism, or if you would like to schedule a baptism, please call Pastor Emrick during regular office hours. He is, of course, also available at any time, day or night, in an emergency situation.
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