Why do we feel such intense grief when we lose a pet? What makes the loss of a pet different, and sometimes worse, than the loss of a human we love? Possibly the differences lie in these reasons:

o Animals love unconditionally, while humans usually cannot.

o Pets are totally dependent all their lives on us for all their needs -- food, water, medical and emotional care. (This is similar to children except pets don't grow up and leave home -- or talk back!)

o Pets are usually well-integrated into the family life and routine, so when they are no longer around, we feel it more abruptly. (Often our loved ones live far away.)

If you have to recover from the loss of a pet, give yourself time to grieve as you would for a human loved one. Accept the support from friends and family. Develop rituals for saying goodbye and memorializing your pet.

When we lost our most recent dog, Jessie, to cancer, my husband and son went to the shelter the same week (unbeknownst to me) and adopted a new dog. I remember being torn emotionally -- mad that they'd done so without me (I hadn't even started dealing with my grief) and excited to know the new dog. Chewy's turned out to be a lovely, wonderful pet, but it took me quite awhile to bond with him and to work through my grief over losing Jessie. Working through your grief before adopting another pet, will allow you to make that decision more carefully.

Call the parish nurse office at (314) 837-1090 for more information.