Immanuel Evangelical Lutheran Church, Clay, NY

HISTORIC IMMANUEL
A visit to Holland
Last November I was invited to the wedding of Radha Bhageloe in Holland, a former exchange student from 1995 – 1996 who lived with us during her senior year at Phoenix High school. It had been nine years since I had visited Holland to attend Radha’s graduation from college in Rotterdam, where I couldn’t understand what the speakers were saying but did get the gist of it. When she and her sister picked me up at the airport, it was like those nine years hadn’t existed. We reminisced about her time in America (her sister had visited us in 2002, also). It was off to stay at her grandmother’s, who was the first Indian resident of Suriname to come to Holland.
First I want to relate Radha’s very interesting life up until she arrived in 1995. She was born in Suriname, an island off the northeast coast of Brazil. By talking with her relatives who also came from there, I have a good idea of what happened. Remember in History when Spain and Portugal were exploring? They divided Brazil from north to south – Spain getting the western part and Portugal the eastern part. I heard two different stories of how Suriname became a province of Holland. One person said it was part of the negotiation of Peter Styvesant when Holland gave New York State to England. Another was that Portugal sold it to England. India became a province of England during their exploration. England wanted to colonize Suriname so they sent Indians there to help on the farms and better their life style. Many of Radha’s ancestors went there or were born there. Radha’s parents left the warm climate in December 1978 when she was six months old for cold Holland which had gotten its freedom from England.
Radha actually graduated from High school in Holland in 1994, but she wanted to see America. Her first impression was how big it is. She had asked me if we could drive to Disney World for the weekend. Because of her Indian parents, her Dutch citizenship and her love of language she was able to speak five languages. Initially she based her knowledge of America on films on Dutch TV from America. That all changed when she lived here for almost a year. Some of you older women might remember that at the Mother-daughter banquet that June of 1996 we celebrated Radha’s 19th birthday with a cake and a song. She was so honored, although she didn’t show it, that we would do that for her. That June
she took home with her memories of Immanuel, Clay and America. My grandmother’s 100th Birthday party, all the snow (Holland has mostly ice), all our animals (she now has a whole menagerie in her small home in Holland), and food (especially potatoes of all kinds and chicken pot pie). Also her visits to Niagara Falls and New York City. Also new suit case full of American clothes!
Now for the wedding activities. The night of the morning I arrived was the Bride’s Party at Radha’s parents’ home. similar to a shower in America, but men were invited. The women performed some Indian rituals and had a great time.
The next morning we attended the Civil Ceremony in Gouda at the Oldest Town Hall in Holland built in 1554. The Justice of the Peace could speak English very well and although it was all in Dutch, he did speak to me in English as he introduced the family on both sides and me as Radha’s American Mom. Jan, the groom, is Dutch and his parents Dutch Reform. The couple were required to be interviewed before hand. During the Civil Ceremony, the Justice spoke of their differing backgrounds, how they met and what they loved
HISTORIC IMMANUEL
A visit to Holland
Last November I was invited to the wedding of Radha Bhageloe in Holland, a former exchange student from 1995 – 1996 who lived with us during her senior year at Phoenix High school. It had been nine years since I had visited Holland to attend Radha’s graduation from college in Rotterdam, where I couldn’t understand what the speakers were saying but did get the gist of it. When she and her sister picked me up at the airport, it was like those nine years hadn’t existed. We reminisced about her time in America (her sister had visited us in 2002, also). It was off to stay at her grandmother’s, who was the first Indian resident of Suriname to come to Holland.
First I want to relate Radha’s very interesting life up until she arrived in 1995. She was born in Suriname, an island off the northeast coast of Brazil. By talking with her relatives who also came from there, I have a good idea of what happened. Remember in History when Spain and Portugal were exploring? They divided Brazil from north to south – Spain getting the western part and Portugal the eastern part. I heard two different stories of how Suriname became a province of Holland. One person said it was part of the negotiation of Peter Styvesant when Holland gave New York State to England. Another was that Portugal sold it to England. India became a province of England during their exploration. England wanted to colonize Suriname so they sent Indians there to help on the farms and better their life style. Many of Radha’s ancestors went there or were born there. Radha’s parents left the warm climate in December 1978 when she was six months old for cold Holland which had gotten its freedom from England.
Radha actually graduated from High school in Holland in 1994, but she wanted to see America. Her first impression was how big it is. She had asked me if we could drive to Disney World for the weekend. Because of her Indian parents, her Dutch citizenship and her love of language she was able to speak five languages. Initially she based her knowledge of America on films on Dutch TV from America. That all changed when she lived here for almost a year. Some of you older women might remember that at the Mother-daughter banquet that June of 1996 we celebrated Radha’s 19th birthday with a cake and a song. She was so honored, although she didn’t show it, that we would do that for her. That June
she took home with her memories of Immanuel, Clay and America. My grandmother’s 100th Birthday party, all the snow (Holland has mostly ice), all our animals (she now has a whole menagerie in her small home in Holland), and food (especially potatoes of all kinds and chicken pot pie). Also her visits to Niagara Falls and New York City. Also new suit case full of American clothes!
Now for the wedding activities. The night of the morning I arrived was the Bride’s Party at Radha’s parents’ home. similar to a shower in America, but men were invited. The women performed some Indian rituals and had a great time.
The next morning we attended the Civil Ceremony in Gouda at the Oldest Town Hall in Holland built in 1554. The Justice of the Peace could speak English very well and although it was all in Dutch, he did speak to me in English as he introduced the family on both sides and me as Radha’s American Mom. Jan, the groom, is Dutch and his parents Dutch Reform. The couple were required to be interviewed before hand. During the Civil Ceremony, the Justice spoke of their differing backgrounds, how they met and what they loved about each other. They both love traveling and want to be parents. He ended the Service with a poem: “Nothing in this world is weaker than water, But nothing beats water in breaking whatever is hard and strong, Soft becomes hard, Weak becomes strong.” Many relatives signed as witnesses to the marriage. Then off to Rotterdam.
After a vegetarian lunch at the Hindu Temple in Rotterdam, the two and a half-hour Hindu Marriage Ceremony was performed. The mixture of the Indian people in their beautiful saris and the Dutch people was inspiring. All relatives participated in some way in the Ritual of 13 steps which in short included: reception of the bridegroom and his kinsmen; his reception at the altar; bride’s father gives her away; sacred fire ceremony for life begun in purity and spirituality; groom takes the bride’s right hand and accepts her as his lawfully wedded wife; bride leads the groom in a walk around the fire with vows of loyalty, love and life-long fidelity; the bride’s mother counsels her on her new life; puffed rice is offered into the sacred fire; the couple circle the fire seven times to legalize the marriage; marriage knot is tied by the bride’s mother and they take seven steps to signify nourishment, strength, prosperity, happiness, progeny, long life, harmony and understanding; sprinkle water and meditate on the sun and pole star; benediction by the elders. It was chanted in Hindu and translated into Dutch which didn’t help me.
I talked to the Female Priest afterward and she explained the basic Ceremony and that Women in the Liberal Hindu Priesthood are allowed to serve in the Hindu Wedding Ceremony. They definitely believe in Karma and we must pay for our sin. But she did agree that there is one God whether we call him Allah, Jesus, Buhda, etc. She told me Muslim comes from Islam. That her life changed as a Priest.
The 7 ½ hour Saturday night reception was filled with gaiety, wonderful food – Dutch and Indian, skits and entertainment by relatives and friends from both sides.
One of my favorite memories of this trip was the time I spent with Jan, the groom. We talked of why he doesn’t attend the Reformed Church anymore, although he is very kind and seems spiritual. Also of his 86 year old mother who was a teen during WWII. The Germans took over her home and they were required to feed and take care of all their needs. She was out after curfew and was threatened with death.
It was very difficult to say Goodbye this time since I renewed friendships with the Indian relatives and Dutch neighbors. But it was with promises of emails and future visits. And I must learn the language.
Dorothy Heller, Historian