Here is the LOST CHAPTER IN GENESIS....
Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him,
"What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it. Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
The rest is history..
(submitted by Cheryl D Palmer (hoosierpk@juno.com)
Lutheran Humor
You fold that dollar bill at least 4 times before dropping it in the collection plate.
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Your wife attends a Saturday service at one Lutheran church because she is the nursery attendant on Sundays at another.
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You ask a visitor to scoot down three seats after saying: "Welcome - but you're in my seat".
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Change most often comes in the form of coins in the offering plate.
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Your congregation’s first two operating rules are “don’t change” and “don’t spend”.
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Nobody dares leave the church until the pastor says:"Go in peace and serve the Lord".
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Council rescinds a motion to "remove the outhouse" because of it's quaint historical value...it's needed for storage!
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You know you are a Lutheran when:
You actually understand the folks from Lake Wobegon.
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All of your casserole dishes have your name on the bottom.
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Every special service or committee meeting is scheduled for 7:00 pm, "Lutheran Standard Time"
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You try to recite the Apostle's Creed from memory, but keep accidentally inserting lines from the Nicene Creed.
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You actually think the Reverend's first name is "Pastor."
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You think you're paying your pastor too much if he gets a new car for the first time in eight years.
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You have 'was a member of Thrivent' put in your obituary.
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You know you're Lutheran when...
10. The only meal time prayer you know is "Come Lord Jesus".
9. All of your casserole dishes have your name on the bottom.
8. They have to rope off the last few pews in church so the front isn't empty.
7. A midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.
6. You can't imagine a celebration without food.
5. While wathing Star Wars you hear "May the force be with you" and you reply "And also with you".
4. At potlucks all the men have tableware and napkins in their shirt pockets so their full plates are easier to carry.
3. You are at a funeral of a family member who is Catholic, and you are the only one who says "for Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory, forever and ever. Amen." after everyone else is done.
2. You sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down.
1. You arrive in church and start having a panic attack because someone else is sitting in your pew.
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