Minister’s Musings

On the other hand, I’ve also learned that forgiveness is primarily giving up the desire for revenge and hurt for someone and so in most cases I can truly say that even though those negative feelings are there, I truly don’t wish for revenge or hurt. So, at least, in some way I can say that I have forgiven that person.

I’ve learned that forgiveness generally has to come from a place of safety. That sometimes we have to give the person over to God and confess that we are not ready to forgive them. There have been periods in my life where I have thought that confining a person to eternal flames is too good for them. In those times (generally when I am not in a place of safety) I have to pray with the hymn we sang, “Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy, Lord, have mercy” on me.

I learned that forgiveness does not mean saying that what was done is acceptable or that forgiveness releases the offender from punishment. Had Charles Roberts lived, the Amish would have had no problem taking him to trial and putting him in jail. On the other hand, they would have opposed the death penalty first, because they are non-violent and secondly, because after death there is no possibility of healing and redemption.

I learned that forgiveness and reconciliation are two separate paths. Forgiveness may lead to reconciliation or it may not. I think reconciliation also has to take place in the context of safety. In the cases where the Amish have reached out to people who have injured or killed their members, it has usually been when that person is in custody. And sometimes it may not be possible to reach out for a number of reasons. 12-step programs have a good rule of thumb about reconciliation: do it, unless this would cause harm to them or others. There are some instances where reaching out would only make the relationship worse, not better.

Sometimes reconciliation leads to forgiveness. That happens between people and also between nations. The cultural exchanges with the Soviet Union that began in the 1960s and 1970s made it possible for the two nations to begin to know each other and to talk with each other. Sometimes we have to know more about the other before we can begin to forgive them.

I was troubled by the idea spoken by Eli Wiesel that the offender has to be the one to first ask for forgiveness - that there has to be repentance on the part of the offender before forgiveness should take place. In many cases that is not possible. The offender may be oblivious to having done the offence or even dead. And we can wish the dead ill. I think the New Testament thrust to forgive comes from Christ on the cross crying out, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” The people most responsible for the death of Jesus - the Romans and the religious leaders - could not have even thought of asking for forgiveness because they thought they were doing the right thing: they were preserving the state and the church. And, we recognize that we are also sinners: we often don’t listen to God and don’t want to listen to God. We have our plans and our priorities and sometimes we don’t have a clue as to what is God’s will. Thank goodness that “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

That’s really where forgiveness begins, isn’t it? It begins with God’s forgiveness given to all sinners on the cross. It begins with the resurrection of Jesus which is God’s way of saying, “Hate and death will not have the final word in this world.” It seems to me that at least one aspect of the witness we have as a Christian community is that we are a people who forgive. That is certainly the witness that the Amish gave to the world and it challenged, at least for awhile, the assumptions on which society in general operates.

In the end, forgiveness is about us turning our lives, including our hurts and the wrongs done to us over to God. It is about letting go of the desire for revenge and hurt. It is about letting God so live in us that it’s no longer about us, but about Christ who lives in us and who moves within us to forgive.

None of us are perfect in this - not even the Amish. But this journey of Lent has strengthened my vision of forgiveness as an important aspect of my life in Christ and challenged me to turn more and more of my life over to God, including the hurting places. For God desires to heal us as well as the world and to free us from hanging on to the pain of the past in order to give us a redeemed future.

Thank you for taking this journey with me.

In Christ,