For planning your wedding service
to be Beautiful, Tasteful and
Meaningful…to the glory of God…
& reflecting your love for each other

St. Peter’s Lutheran Church – ELCA
325 Mill Street
Loganville, Wisconsin
608-727-3721
stpeters@merr.com www.lutheransonline.com/loganville

Pastor Christopher M. Miller
608-727-2260 (home) - or - 608-574-6633 (cell)

{ revised February 2006 }

PRE-WEDDING HANDBOOK
ST. PETER’S LUTHERAN CHURCH

So you are getting married. CONGRATULATIONS !!!
We as a church are excited for you. This is one of the more import-ant days of celebration in your life, beginning your new life together. We are pleased & honored that you want to share this occasion here at St. Peter’s Lutheran Church in Loganville.
We want this to be a wonderful day and memorable event for you and your guests for all the right reasons.

Your desire to have a “church wedding” indicates your desire to invite God to have a presence in your ceremony & in your married life beyond the altar. A “church wedding” means you are taking this step in God’s House with an emphasis on Christian teachings & liturgy, with the reading of God’s Word and prayers…in addition to, hopefully, selecting some sacred songs or hymns. { see below, p. 6 }

This HANDBOOK provides guidelines intended to maintain & uphold the Church’s standards of Propriety, Good Taste and Theological Soundness in the wedding service. Our Pastor is available to explain or clarify any of these points with you and to either cooperate or negotiate alternatives wherever possible.

While there is room for flexibility in our services, these guide-lines are intended to set some of the boundaries within which to make many and various choices for your wedding service. They are meant to make your planning process easier – if not more enjoy-able – to help insure that your wedding will be Beautiful, Tasteful, Meaningful and truly to the Glory of God. We assume these are your wishes too. Many of these guidelines also apply for weddings in another setting as well: at a park, a shelter, a tent, a garden… at which our Pastor is the “presiding minister”.

The church is a place of worship. It is asked & expected that each member of the bridal party and those in attendance will reflect reverence to God in their thought, word and deed on the premise.

The context of the wedding is worship – a service to worship God – lifting up God’s love for us as well as a couple’s love for each other – as we ask God to solemnize this life-long covenant relationship between a man and a woman according to the ordinances of God for marriage.

We believe the increasing divorce rate and breakdown in family life is painful and tragic for couples, children & culture. We desire to impress upon couples the seriousness and joys of holy Matrimony as we witness to the power of the Gospel to sustain individuals in daily life and couples in the gift of both marriage & family.

If you will, in good faith and conscience, avail yourselves of pre-marital counseling sessions, affirm that God joins you together, that you are entering into a covenant relationship, and seek God’s approval & blessing upon your marriage vows, we welcome you to be married in this church.

Several (2-4) pre-marital counseling sessions are required
with the couple & pastor at the church in the months before your anticipated wedding date.

In those situations when such sessions are difficult – when the couple lives in a different area / region or state for military service or work or college – we request you seek out a counselor there = a base chaplain, a local parish pastor or campus pastor. Have them send a letter confirming your participation in pre-marital sessions.

You need not be a member to be married at St. Peter’s Lutheran. This does not mean, however, we take church membership lightly. Your pending marriage is an occasion for you to think (again) about your relationship to God and Jesus Christ’s Church.

This is already a time you have re-thought your desire to be or remain single – which is no small decision. In our pre-marital counseling sessions we can reflect on the past & project into the future your participation in & association with the Church.

Non-members and in-active members being married here will be strongly encouraged to become involved in the life of the Church – either this parish or a parish near your residence – so that what is begun at your Christian wedding by prayer may continue to grow into a Christian marriage…as long as you both shall live.

Regarding a Catholic bride or groom = if one of you intends to remain in the Catholic Church in good standing, you must contact your priest & be informed about their expectations & requirements. Do not delay!. If you desire, a priest is welcome here to co-officiate at the ceremony. See the “Visiting / Assisting Clergy” item.

It is wise to contact this church as early as possible to request a specific date & time for your wedding & rehearsal – so that our facility and Pastor are both available for you, as well as the fellow-ship hall for any showers or receptions. Once we confirm your date on the church-calendar, we will cooperate with you fully in your preparations, including = your pre-marital counseling, wedding planning, and church decorating for your wedding service.

Do you already have ideas & visions for your wedding service: about the words & music to include, about prayers & lessons to share, about Vows to exchange & blessings to request?
For those less familiar with these options & possibilities – we will provide you with a variety to select from.

We hope & pray that all we do with you in these months of preparation will provide a basis for your continued blessings of peace, love, faith, health, and happiness in the years to come.

SERVICE OPTIONS - POSSIBILITIES - SUGGESTIONS

The Rehearsal is usually scheduled for the evening before the wedding service – when travelers have arrived. This may be altered for convenience sake. The rehearsal should be just one hour long. Please encourage the wedding party to arrive at least on time – the Pastor or organist may have other appointments or plans for the evening. You may wish to begin decorating at this time.
All honorariums should be given to Pastor to distribute this evening.

Bridal party, family or friends are encouraged to participate in the wedding service as = Readers of Scripture Lessons or other readings chosen in consultation with the Pastor.

Holy Communion may be celebrated in the wedding service BUT MUST be “open” to everyone. All are invited to the Table, even if all do not choose to receive both Elements. We’ll use the whole Com-munion liturgy during the service. Those invited to the Table are: “baptized Christians, who repent of their sin, & believe Christ is present to forgive.” Ask about additional details & protocol.

Many desire a UNITY CANDLE lighting or Marriage Candle during their ceremony. It is your responsibility to select & purchase the three candles needed. We have catalogs if you want candles with Christian symbols on them – or visit a Christian bookstore or you may go to another retailer. You’ll need candle stands or holders.
We do own a brass ‘table top’ model with three holders = no fee.
{ This tradition is based on Genesis 2:24 = the two flanking candles {1” tapers} – which may be lit by mothers or parents – symbolize the heritage & uniqueness of the bride & groom, the center candle (pillar-type) is a symbol of the marital union – both in the physical & the spiritual sense. }

Visiting / Assisting Clergy: when the bride or groom is an active member of another church or denomination, his or her pastor or priest may participate in the wedding ceremony at the invitation of the host pastor. Please discuss with the host pastor the ways you envision the “visitor” to assist = reading Lessons, offering prayers, sharing a message, leading vows, bestowing blessings, etc.
The host pastor will always be present & involved at a wedding in this congregation – unless he is unavailable or by prior approval.

Bulletins, if desired, are the responsibility of the bridal couple. The church has catalogs from which to select bulletins – or visit a Chris-tian bookstore or private printer to choose from their stock.
Our church secretary may be able to help you type your information and help block it for your page size, or you could do it yourself – in either case: proofread carefully. We might also be able to print this for you on our copier, however, whether by us or by a printer, we suggest you not print it too soon before the service to accom-modate making any last minute changes.
Allow Pastor to proof your draft & make any suggestions.

FLOWERS for the altar may only be ‘fresh cut’, ‘dried flowers’ or potted plants & placed on the shelf above the altar (below the Communion scene) and not stand higher than the cross-arm of the brass Altar Cross (height = 24 inches). (artificial flowers elsewhere)
Aisle Runners are acceptable but an unnecessary expense.
They were necessary when floors were rough wood & snagged long dresses.
Our center aisle is 54 feet long (from the glass doors to 1st step).
For decorating, there are 17 pairs of pews w/ sides (2¼” thick) .

COLORS of chancel paraments, banners & clergy vestments – won’t be changed to match or complement the colors of the bridal party, they are what they are for that day/season. You may request use of white paraments well in advance however. For your wedding at the end of a season or before a Sunday “change”, you may request one or the other liturgical color with the cooperation of the Altar Guild members assisting that month.

DO’s and DON’Ts and OTHER POLICIES

The use of alcohol, non-prescription drugs, or other chemical substances, is NOT appropriate / acceptable / allowed at a cele-bration in the church – this includes the church building, parking areas & grounds – before, during, or after the rehearsal, wedding or reception at church. The only exception is a “member-wedding” where wine may be served – but not in unlimited quantities at a rehearsal dinner or wedding reception.
The marriage service will not proceed if either the bride or groom appears to be intoxicated or “under the influence”. If members of the wedding party appear to be intoxicated or “under the influence” - the bride/groom will be asked to exclude them from the ceremony.

A “no smoking” policy is also in effect throughout the church. Please dispose of butts safely when outside, esp. away from church doors.

The throwing of rice or confetti at the bridal couple presents a maintenance problem, therefore it is discouraged. Throwing birdseed or blowing bubbles should only be done outdoors.

Recording the Service: this is an excellent remembrance of your wedding and will be available to share together each anniversary.
It is your responsibility to retain an “operator” & supply the tape.
Cassette recording may be done through the church’s PA system for the best quality of reproduction. Ask about this possibility.
Video-recording will be the responsibility of your videographer after consulting with Pastor. Lighting, camera placement & opera-tion may not distract worshippers or detract from the ceremony.

Professional Photographers may not interrupt the ceremony by their presence or use of equipment. FLASH pictures are not to be taken during the ceremony. Most photographers are adept at and have equipment for taking “existing light” photos from the choir loft or back of the church – out of view.
Family “photographers” should be requested (verbally or in the bulletin) to refrain from taking flash pictures during the ceremony. We’ll make opportunity AFTER the ceremony to RE-ENACT any pose or moment they desire to capture…except those occasions when someone falls, faints or is on fire.
EXCEPTION: Flash photos during the Procession or Recession of parents & bridal party in the center aisle {by the professional or family & friends} is acceptable – technically this is before the worship service… which begins with the invocation.

ABOUT YOUR MUSIC & MUSICIANS

The capable ORGANIST(s) of this church shall play for weddings.
You should make an appointment with “your” organist as soon as possible to select Processional / Recessional / Special Music & Hymns to use during your wedding service.

If another organist is needed or one has a special relationship to the couple, this should be discussed with the Pastor & our organist.
Guest organists will need to be briefed on our instruments (a pipe organ & a clavanova / keyboard) in advance of the wedding.

Other instruments (ex. guitar, autoharp, strings or winds) may
also be used, preferably by accomplished musicians.
Instrumental music should reflect the mood of joy & celebration,
it may be selected from chamber music literature or similar sources.

MORE ON WEDDING MUSIC: VOCAL & INSTRUMENTAL =
ONE GUIDING PRINCIPLE SHOULD GOVERN YOUR CONSID-ERATION OF WEDDING MUSIC = your wedding is worship… to the honor & praise of almighty God. We ask that any music be God-centered – among its other themes. Some music is less appropriate for use in church because of its Message (not its style).

If we’re going to stress (but not exclusively) the use of sacred music – then we must offer you viable & beautiful arrangements that are more appropriate for your wedding service.
OUR ORGANISTS HAVE MANY SELECTIONS to sample for pro-cessionals & recessionals, for soloists, or congregational singing. Please make an appointment with our organist to hear these selections and arrangements ASAP to avoid disappointment as we work together in making & finalizing your plans.
After your meeting, we can negotiate final music selections.

If some secular music has special meaning for you, consider having this performed at your reception or during the prelude.

SUGGESTED FEES & HONORARIUMS
Many couples ask what an appropriate gift would be for those who help lead in your wedding service. Remember, others put in extra time & effort to help make your wedding ceremony memorable.

In some cases you may select a friend or family member as a soloist or instrumentalist. Giving them a gift or honorarium is up to your discretion – and be given to them directly when you so chose.
For those whom the church provides, these are the
minimum honorariums (fees) recommended for each:
n Organist - $100.00
n Janitor - $75.00 ($75 more for a reception)
n Soloist provided by Church - $75.00
n Pastor - $100.00
Contact our WELCA president a.s.a.p. regarding Receptions.
We request that these payments be given to Pastor the week before the wedding, or at least by the time of the Rehearsal.

Vocalists / Soloists: selections and arrangements need to be
approved by Pastor and our organist well in advance.
Selections should be high-quality examples of composition and
Arrangements should be within the ability of the vocalist or
instrumentalist to sing / perform with assurance.
Selections to be sung should contain words & themes suitable to worship and reflect God’s love for us in addition to your love for each other – while avoiding sentimental themes.

The payments may be either:
-- a check for the total amount made out to Pastor to distribute;
-- individual checks for each person given to Pastor to distribute;
-- cash bills in an envelope for Pastor to distribute.

Other Fees for the use of the Church
ACTIVE membership is Communing at the Lord’s Table or “giving of record” to this congregation in the calendar year.
Active Members: there is no additional charge for your church wedding, your offerings keep the church viable & Pastor available.

Non-members: refers to your membership status at the time of your request to be married here. A fee of $300 is due at the time you reserve the church OR by the 2nd pre-marital session. $200 is non-refundable if you cancel your wedding here after our 2nd pre-marital counseling session.
The above honorariums are still your additional responsibility.
An additional $100 is needed if you want the Fellowship Hall for your reception or rehearsal dinner – plus a $75 fee for the janitor.

If you become members, the $300 will be credited to your annual offering and posted on your financial statement during that year.

Marriage is regulated by the State of Wisconsin.
Therefore, you can apply for your Marriage License at the
Sauk County Court House,
505 Broadway, Room #144 Baraboo, WI
A pre-recorded message with license info at: 608-355-3580.
Office hours are 8:00am to 4:00pm Monday thru Friday;
Beverly Mielke is County Clerk, her desk-direct phone 355-3521;
the general office number is 355-3286.
The license will cost $50 (cash or check accepted);
- there is a 6-day waiting period,
(waiver of waiting period granted for an additional $10);
- both parties must appear in person to apply for license,
- average time to fill out application: 15 minutes;
- the license is good for 30-days, - there is no blood-test,
- proof of residency for each is required, and
- for individuals under 30 years old –
a state certified copy of Birth Record is required.
{hospital birth certificates, hospital records, WI ID cards or baptismal certificates are NOT accepted.}

For Divorced persons: there is a 6 month waiting period after a
Judgment Date from any state. See: www.co.sauk.wi.us

Your license will be mailed to the church 2 weeks in advance.
No wedding service may proceed without this license – unless the Pastor announces at the beginning of the service that this marriage will not be legally recognized by the State at this time.

Closing Comment:
This booklet has been drafted several times in consultation with and approval of our Church Council, Music staff, several member-parents of newly weds and newly wedded couples. This manual seeks to put into words & state our policies – that reflect our beliefs and theology of Marriage.
We realize this is an exciting and sensitive time for you and your fiancé. We hope this material will facilitate your thinking and our discussion about your wedding service.
Everything we do and say and pray prior to and during your wedding is intended to HONOR you, your love, your commit-ment, your parents and guests, and our Lord – in whose House we gather to share this special moment in your life.

Sincerely, Pastor Christopher M. Miller