Nine Rules for Throwing Out the Garbage1) If you try to put some garbage into the garbage can and it falls right out because trash is already piled up to the rim, do not ignore your garbage that is now lying on the floor.
2) Similarly, if you try to "make a basket" with some garbage and miss, there is no other person who is going after your missed shot.
3) If the garbage can is filled all the way to the top, you may not throw your garbage on the counter, floor, or sink instead.
4) DO NOT under any circumstances say any of the following:
---"But I don't even use that garbage can."
---"Why should I touch the garbage?"
---"I don't even make any garbage!"
---"I didn't even see it!"
5) DO say:
---"Why yes, my beautiful mother, I will joyfully empty the garbage can."
---"In fact, why don't you make that my daily chore so you never have to get upset again about the overflowing garbage?"
---"Oh Mother, I took it upon myself to change the garbage bag when I noticed it was on the full side."
6) If you put something really stinky in the garbage, like old food or a dirty diaper, please tie up the bag immediately and take it outside--even if the bag is not filled to its breaking point yet.
7) And by "outside" I mean the garbage can that is outside, not tossed out the back door where wnimals will come and tear the bags open and spread the contents all over the yard.
8) When you take out the old garbage bag, tie it up. AND PUT IN A NEW BAG!
9) If ou throw garbage into the empty can because you "can't find" the bags, I will make you wash out the can...with your toothbrush.
--From "Good Housekeeping," June 2007
