While watching Star Wars you hear "May the force be with you" and you reply "And also with you"
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You actually understand the folks from Lake Wobegon.
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All of your casserole dishes have your name on the bottom.
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One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either sided of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex." "Good morning Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. The little boy asked, "Pastor what is this?" The Pastor said, "Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?"
-Ken, DeWitt, Nebraska
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You know you're Lutheran when...
10. The only meal time prayer you know is "Come Lord Jesus".
9. All of your casserole dishes have your name on the bottom.
8. They have to rope off the last few pews in church so the front isn't empty.
7. A midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.
6. You can't imagine a celebration without food.
5. While wathing Star Wars you hear "May the force be with you" and you reply "And also with you".
4. At potlucks all the men have tableware and napkins in their shirt pockets so their full plates are easier to carry.
3. You are at a funeral of a family member who is Catholic, and you are the only one who says "for Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory, forever and ever. Amen." after everyone else is done.
2. You sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down.
1. You arrive in church and start having a panic attack because someone else is sitting in your pew.

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A little congregation decided the church needed a new coat of white paint. So they all pooled their money and went down to the local hardware store and bought all of the cheapest white paint the store had. Well, they had the job half finished and were down to the last two cans of paint. What should they do now? They all discussed it and came to the conclusion that they would thin the paint down to make it stretch. They finished and stood back and looked at their beautiful newly painted white church. Well, it rained during the night and the next day when they came to look at the church they saw that all of the paint had washed off. "WELL, NOW WHAT DO WE DO?" they all said. The pastor looked at them and said, "Repaint! Repaint! And NEVER thin again."
-J.K., Sun Prairie, Wisconsin